user engagement metric

My parents were in town a few weeks ago and we didn’t take a single picture together as a family. I found myself to be quite sad about this. Living away from home, we only see each other a handful of times a year, so it’s nice to capture this time together. Dad often compiles a sweet Christmas video full of pictures from the year, and I was bummed to think that our time together in New York would go undocumented.

And then I got to thinking, the reason we didn’t take any pictures was because we were too busy just enjoying our time together. We were committed to the experience, not the documentation of it.

I think there’s something to be said about both approaches. And I think it really applies to a phenomenon happening in our culture right now.

I’m as insta-obsessed as the next person. How many times a day to I find myself mindlessly scrolling through people’s stories and photos? How often do I see something funny and think it’d be a hit on social media? And who among us can help ourselves when the hair looks good and the lighting is on point? The way we communicate, and share, and curate our lives is through square-cropped photos and 30-second soundbites.

I ran into a friend the other day whom I hadn’t seen in months. And she knew just about everything about my life, because she’s been keeping up on instagram. It was a weird mix of feelings. Flattery, that she cared to be tuned-in to my life and remember what I had posted about. And a strange sort of sadness that there was nothing really to update her on, or chat with her about, because she was up to speed through social media. It’s a strange reality.

Stranger still, is the reality of what social media means for performers. Influencers. Entrepreneurs. “You’re nothing without an online presence” is a statement I heard uttered from someone in the Broadway community recently. And more and more I see breakdowns seeking Name Talent Only, requesting stats on followers and social media presence when submitting. Last I checked, I didn’t take a class on “curating a following” as part of my BFA training. Some days, I wish I did.

My brother has a little slice of fame, and it’s always fascinating to hear his take on this stuff. He’s living in a world where these numbers really mean something — where sharing your life on social media is equal parts fun and transactional. He recently shared with me the two main metrics when it comes to instagram — user retention and more importantly, user engagement. Put simply, retention is how many followers you’re gaining/keeping around. Engagement is how many followers are consistently and actively liking, ideally commenting on, and generally interacting with what you’re putting out there. In general, people have more user retention than engagement.

And I found that to be a tragically beautiful metaphor for how we function in society. We’re often striving for that retention number — how many followers do I have, how am I being perceived from the outside, am I networking properly, am I posting enough, do people like me? When in reality, that smaller engagement number is more valuable — who is genuinely interested in what I’m up to, how am I spending quality time, where are my meaningful interactions, and what is my authentic circle of friends?

I have an amazing scrapbook of photos of me and my family that my grandparents gifted to me a few years back. My grandfather was so great about capturing so many of these special moments. It’s something I treasure deeply and I’m so glad that he took the time to document and collect our time together in this way. Sometimes I wonder, will instagram be our equivalent of this? Will I be grateful one day that I took the time to take silly selfies and boomerangs? Will this be my own personal scrapbook to commemorate my young adulthood, and to show my children what living in New York looked like?

I really don’t have the answer on this one, and it’s a balance I struggle with all the time. There’s nothing I hate more than staging a perfect moment to try to generate “likes.” But is this a reality we have to accept? In order to advance our careers, stay connected, and preserve our experiences, do we need to succumb to this model?

Even with this very blog, I find myself thinking about these things! “Is there a good time to post to create traction?” “Are people actually reading this?” “What hashtags might bring in outside readers?” I’m also privy to the fact that people these days prefer to receive their information quickly, through photos or videos. Who has time to read a whole blog post? But the reality is, I love writing and that’s ultimately why I’m doing this. And besides the value of dedicating time to writing and reflecting on a weekly basis, the best part for me is any engagement I receive from my friends, loved ones, and the occasional stranger.

So that’s what I’m going to strive to stay focused on in my writing, in my posts, and in my life. Am I actively and meaningfully engaging with the people around me, or merely retaining them?

If you made it all the way through this, I thank you for engaging with me. It brings me such joy :)

an honestly stunning shot of my parents and me last time they visited NYC