7 things learned in 7 miles
When I first started working for lululemon, I worked under an incredible manager named Sara. I will forever be grateful to this woman because she took the time to teach me what setting powerful goals really looks like.
One of the tidbits she taught me is that it can be fun and helpful to throw a few surprise, kind of “out there” goals into the mix. While in the midst of building those one, five, and ten year goals that have a trajectory and make perfect sense, why not also ponder something that’s tucked away somewhere in the corner of your psyche? Why not throw that on the corner of a vision board and see what happens?
I was remembering this week that my two “I’ve always wondered if this could ever happen for me” nonsensical goals that I shared with her 3 and half years ago were running a marathon, and becoming a writer. It hit me like a ton of bricks to realize that today I find myself on the path towards both of those things.
Yesterday I ran my second official race, and I’m still feeling the high of crossing the finish line. I was sharing with my friend Jonny who greeted me at the finish — no matter how hard it may have been along the way or how rough my body feels, my first thought as I’m coming in at the finish with crowds cheering and adrenaline racing is: When can I do this again? That feeling may very well go away as I increase my mileage, but for now, I’m basking in that high.
What I’m loving about running is that I’m finding it’s a mental workout just as much as a physical one. So much comes up for me when I’m out for a run. Yesterday’s race was no different, and I found myself creating this very post in my mind as I rounded out each mile. Here are my big takeaways from each milestone:
There is power in numbers. Both times I’ve raced now, I’ve gotten emotional at the starting line. When the race officially begins, you get swept up into a massive sea of bodies all moving together. It’s powerful stuff. I was humbled by the various shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities represented on the track yesterday. But there we all were, with a shared goal of just moving forward. Completing the thing. Together. I’ve done that loop a few times now on my own, but suddenly the course felt like completely new information with so many bodies racing in tandem. Everything felt much more possible with hundreds of people all holding each other accountable and cheering each other on. It brought the classic adage to light so clearly for me: If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
Lean in to your momentum. Mile two was my best mile by a long shot. Ironically, mile two was also the hardest hill. Shortly after the second mile, I had a surprise visit from my two friends Jonny and Iain. Lost in my thoughts and a sick Jason Derulo playlist, I suddenly realized that these kickass runners had found me on the course and were just outside the track running alongside me. Jonny asked, “How was the hill?” and I genuinely responded that I hadn’t noticed. Call it beginners luck, or likely more like bad pacing, but I sped up the hill with ease and confidence, totally unfazed. Several times on the course I would feel a sudden burst of energy when I’d see an even stretch of road ahead, or experience a cool breeze, or feel inspired by the people around me. I’d remind myself in those moments to lean in to that momentum — use it while it’s there! We aren’t always graced with movement and inspiration in our day to day, so in the moments when it’s available to us, we do ourselves a major disservice to turn away that gift.
One foot in front of the other. Mile three is when the heat started kicking in. In my early momentum and enthusiasm, I breezed past the first couple water stations. I was feeling good and wanted to push myself not to stop if I didn’t need to! But it wasn’t long before the beating sun of a 90 degree morning started to get to me. Luckily there was a water stop just past the 5k marker, and I was able to refuel in this moment. Feeling the obstacles of external factors, and feeling a little down at needing to take a break; it was around this point that I started hearing an internal mantra of “One foot in front of the other.” That’s all you’re responsible for in this life! It doesn’t matter how rough the terrain is, or what setbacks you may need to deal with, as long as you’re constantly pushing in that forward direction — one step at a time.
The mind can be your biggest ally, and fiercest foe. It is really amazing how quickly your mind can go from optimistic to pessimistic, with very little prompting. Mile four is when my pacing started to slow down quite a bit, and it wasn’t long before the inner demons started rearing their ugly heads. “What was I thinking signing up for this?” “My body is not built for this.” “How could I ever possibly run further than this?” “I’m never doing this again.” While I’m sure that heat and fatigue is what slowed me down initially, I’m certain that allowing myself to live in this negative headspace is what kept me down. It’s a hard thing to remember at times, but we are 100% in charge of our thoughts. We do not need to be controlled by them. It’s common and often our default setting to be consumed by negative and doubtful self-talk. But it’s just as easy to turn those thoughts around and tell yourself that anything is possible. That you’ve got this in the bag. That you’re a fucking badass. Even if you don’t actually believe these things, the mind-body connection is so powerful that by feeding positive thoughts into your brain, those things begin to manifest in your actions.
Tune in to turn out. I always run to music. It pumps me up, it keeps me distracted, it makes me feel like I have a fierce backup track behind me. But around mile five, it got to be too much. Between the heat, and my own personal mind games, and the second set of hills; my man Jason was starting to feel like sensory overload in my ears (which is truly unheard of because when Talk Dirty comes on literally forget about it.) I suddenly had the instinct to take my earbuds out, even just momentarily. The sensation was remarkable. I expected the world outside of my playlist to be just as loud — to hear all the noise of the city, and the runners around me, and the people cheering us on. But it was like I entered a vacuum. Everything seemed to disappear for a few minutes, and all I heard was my own breath and the soft, comforting rhythm of dozens of feet padding the track. Instantly, it felt like a peaceful morning run instead of an intense race. I suddenly saw myself, and heard myself, and I felt completely at ease. I finished the race to the soundtrack of my own inhales and exhales.
Your body is more powerful than you could ever imagine. Once I had tuned in with myself in mile five, I got back in my groove and found a good pace again. I told myself I wasn’t going to slow down from this pace until I reached mile six. But when I reached mile six, I couldn’t stop. My body was starting to tingle — my muscles were starting to feel crazy, I was completely drenched in sweat, I was finally in sync with my breath, and the finish line was in sight. Even though every fiber of my being wanted a break, something came over me that wouldn’t let me stop. Every bend in the road in those final miles I found myself thinking, The finish line is just around this corner. Okay the finish line is just around THIS corner. The finish line didn’t come for two more miles, but I had told myself I was powering through until the end. My body completely took over and did the heavy lifting for me. I didn’t know how it would be possible to continue to put one foot in front of the other at each of those final bends that weren’t quite the finish line. But it was possible. My body did that for me. And will continue to do so.
Goals are made to push you, not to guarantee success. In the end, I finished 6 minutes over my goal time. As an avid perfectionist and the ultimate competitor, those 6 minutes feel like a punch in the gut. My first thoughts were, I shouldn’t have stopped for water. I should have worn shorts. If only it hadn’t been so hot. If only I had done more speed work. But it’s literally 6 minutes!! In the big scheme of things, that’s so close to my goal. And this is all still a total learning curve for me. When we signed up for the race, we had to submit our predicted finishing time. At the time, I thought about submitting 1:10. I knew that was a number I had in the bag and that it would be amazing to cross the finish line under my goal time and feel like a rockstar. But I knew that wouldn’t stretch me. I knew that wouldn’t get me out in the weeks leading up to the race to try to hit an even 1 hour finish. 1:10 wasn’t inspiring to me. 1:00 was. 1:10 would have guaranteed success. 1:00 pushed me. And yeah, if I had said 1:10, 1:06 would have been an accomplishment yesterday. But instead, 1:06 says I fucking did my best with what was given to me on the day. 1:06 says I’m a beautifully imperfect human being. 1:06 reminds me that progress isn’t linear. 1:06 guarantees that I’ll be back for more.
forced a stranger to take a pic of me moments after finishing the race